Raising Them & Remembering Me: Navigating Parenthood with Power and Grace
Parenting doesn’t come with a manual — and even if it did, it wouldn’t account for your unique story, identity, or the layered emotions that come with raising a child while still healing, growing, and striving as an individual.
Whether your child is 6 or 26, the role doesn’t end — it evolves. And for so many of us, especially as parents of color, the journey often includes doing the emotional labor of breaking cycles, setting boundaries, and building connection without sacrificing ourselves.
This week, I’m reflecting deeply — as a coach, educator, and mother — on what it really means to parent with presence, power, and peace.
The Myth of the “Perfect Parent”
Let’s get this out of the way: perfection is a trap. Social media, cultural expectations, and even our inner critic can have us chasing standards that leave us feeling inadequate. But parenting is not about perfection — it's about presence.
What your child needs most is a regulated, self-aware adult who is willing to grow alongside them. They need honesty, repair, and consistency — not perfection.
Self-Forgiveness is a Parenting Tool
So many of us carry guilt: for how we were raised, for what we didn’t know, for moments we lost our temper or missed a signal. But guilt without action becomes shame.
What if we reframed guilt as a cue — not to beat ourselves up, but to pause, reflect, and reset?
““I didn’t show up the way I wanted to this time, but I can choose differently next time. My awareness is my superpower.””
I remember a moment with my son that still lives in my heart — not because I got it right, but because I got real.
He was in middle school, and I was under pressure — juggling work, grief, and my own unmet needs. One night, I snapped over something small. The silence after hit me harder than anything.
The next morning, I didn’t lead with excuses. I said:
““You didn’t deserve the way I responded last night. I was overwhelmed, and I didn’t manage my emotions well. I’m sorry. You matter more to me than my stress.””
He looked at me and just said, “Thanks for saying that, Ma.”
That moment taught me: repair is powerful. It doesn’t erase what happened, but it reminds them — and us — that we’re human. And still worthy of love.
Boundaries Are Love
Parenting doesn’t mean being available 24/7 to absorb every emotion or fix every problem. Saying “no,” creating structure, or requesting space is not harsh — it’s healthy.
When we model boundaries, we teach our children to trust their own limits, honor their energy, and respect others. It’s a gift.
✨ Reminder: Boundaries create safety. Not distance.
Holding Space vs. Holding Everything
Your child may want you to hold their fears, questions, and dreams. That’s beautiful. But you’re not meant to carry everything.
You deserve support too. Whether it’s a therapist, coach, faith space, or supportive friends — your needs matter.
““You can hold space for them, and still hold space for you.””
What I Know for Sure...
Parenting is sacred and complicated. And there’s no single “right way.” But when we lead with love, stay open to growth, and protect our peace, we give our children permission to do the same.
You are allowed to be a full human — not just a role.
You are allowed to evolve — not just manage.
You are allowed to rest — not just survive.
Final Reflection Questions:
What part of parenting has surprised you the most?
What do you wish you’d had more of as a child — and how are you giving that to your own child or yourself now?
What can you give yourself this week to feel seen and supported?
If this spoke to you, I invite you to share it with another parent in your circle. And if you’re looking for more grounded support in parenting with presence, my coaching sessions are always here for you.
📩 Let’s talk about what’s possible — together.
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📚 Up next:
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Ignite your future. Unlock your potential.
*By Jocelyn Brooks (CEO & Founder, Ignite Futures LLC)*
